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Me and My Lil one

There is no one in thr world that i love more than this little girl. I guess i should start off by telling my story and maybe somebody out there can relate to me. Just like many before me i got caught up in college and got hit with the scariest words a young man could hear ” I’m pregnant”. I told myself though that i would be there no matter what. That i would always be that father that i never had. It started out rough but i was up for the challenge. Honestly a baby itself isn’t that hard, especially my little girl, its the things that they complicate. No where to start first of all the strain that it put on my relationship with my girlfriend, thats a blog in itself. It hurts cause she tries to understand but she could never understand. As i could never understand her pains. Then theres other girls, i’ve never had a problem with the opposite sex but it seems as if there just everywhere now, and maybe since i never really had to resist it didn’t seem so hard but the combination of more girls being interested in me and the flu like symptons i get when i try to resist dont seem to equal out. Also, i was always a social person, but letting go of all of the partying and smoking and all that wasn’t that hard, but because we chose to finish school where we are because of the oppurtunities, the load of watching the baby falls solely on us. The toughest issue though is the fact that i have no one to relate to. Everyone either gives accolades or sympothy. All i hear is your the greatest or you can do it, but i never hear i understand. I feel like a soldier all alone on a battlefield ready to give up the fight. Especially with all the guys around me just continuing with their lives despite there kids. I dont know maybe its just me, but hopefully by starting this blog all the young black fathers out there can see your not the only one and one day these little kids will grow up and move out lol. This blog isn’t just about kids and our struggle, but the focus will be on positive black fathers.

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